We Are Growing! Meet Our New Counselors

We Are Growing! Meet Our New Counselors

2020 has been a very challenging year for the mental health of our community. Mental Health America reports that anxiety and depression rates have increased at an alarming pace, self harm and suicide are on the rise, people are struggling more with isolation and loneliness, and rates of anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation are increasing for people of all races and ethnicities. Numbers demonstrate that from January through September, pandemic enduring youth ages 11-17 have been more likely than any other age group to report moderate to severe symptoms of anxiety and depression and have the highest rates of suicidal ideation, especially LGBTQ+ youth. The number of youth reaching out for help is also increasing. Black or African Americans report the highest average percent change over time for anxiety and depression, while Indigenous Americans have had the highest average percent change over time for suicidal ideation.

We are very excited to announce that two seasoned counselors have joined our practice! Our hope is that we are able to support even more people who are struggling during the pandemic through this expansion, especially youth, families, and adults.

Erica Ray, M.Ed., LCPC

Erica Ray, M.Ed., LCPC, earned her Master of Arts in Education, School Counseling, from The University of Akron. She brings to our practice her experience with counseling in a school setting, developing wilderness experiences for at risk youth, therapeutic boarding school programming, collaborating with the Department of Child and Family Services, and has training in Trauma Focused CBT. Her client areas of focus are school aged children, teens, and adults. She has full time hours available to see clients.

Jayshree Panchal, MA, LCPC

Jayshree Panchal, MA, LCPC, graduated from Bradley University with a Master of Arts in Human Development Counseling. She brings many years of experience counseling adolescents, college students, and adults. She uses trauma informed approaches to treat grief and loss, improve relationships, assist with college preparation, and enhance career development.  She has practiced in many settings, including schools, career centers, hospital units, and community mental health. She is practicing with us part time on evenings and weekends.

Please join us in celebrating this milestone for our practice. We know it is harder right now to find a counselor who is taking new clients because of the pandemic increasing the demand for services. If you are interested in scheduling a counseling session for yourself or your child, give us a call today at 309-713-1485 or email info@summitfamily.net.

Life Transitions: 8 Tips for Getting Through Tough Times

What is a Life Transition?

Life transitions are usually life changing events that cause us to re-examine our present sense of who we are.  Although life transitions can happen at any age, many people will experience significant life transitions during mid-life or at retirement.

Examples of Life Transitions 

• Getting married

• Pregnancy / Becoming a parent

• Divorce or relational separation                            

• Leaving parent’s home or moving to new home

• Empty nest syndrome

• Change in career or loss of career

• Health changes / serious illness 

• Significant loss (person, pet, or anything important)

• Retirement

If Life Transitions are normal, why do I feel so overwhelmed?

Transition means change. We are resistant to change.  Most of us like predictability in our everyday lives. The unknown causes us fear and stress.  We feel vulnerable. There can be a sense of grief or loss.  

Are there any positives?

Changes, especially difficult changes, can promote personal growth. Dealing with a change successfully can leave a person stronger, more confident and better prepared for what comes next in life.  Even unwanted or unexpected changes may produce beneficial outcomes. 

You might gain new knowledge or develop new skills as the result of life transition.  These changes might allow you to discover what’s important in your life and assist you in achieving greater self-awareness.

Coping with Change

Someone facing change may also experience depression, anxiety, changes in eating habits, trouble sleeping, or abuse of alcohol or drugs. If these symptoms persist or change disrupts normal coping mechanisms and makes it difficult or impossible for person to cope with new circumstances, a person may be diagnosed with an Adjustment Disorder. Symptoms typically begin within 3 months of the stress or change.  It’s important to seek immediate assistance if you are engaging in reckless / dangerous behaviors or having thoughts of suicide—call 911.  

Therapy for Change

A therapist may incorporate a variety of techniques such as emotionally focused therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance commitment therapy or motivational interviewing.  A therapist will assist in treating stress, anxiety and depression while exploring new coping strategies with the client.

How can I cope with Life Transitions?

Understand that while Life Transitions are difficult, they can promote positive outcomes

1. Accept that change is a normal part of life

2. Identify your values and life goals 

3. Learn to identify and express your feelings

4. Expect to feel uncomfortable 

5. Take care of yourself

6. Build a support system

7. Don’t hurry- focus on rewards

8. Acknowledge what’s been left behind

If you are struggling with a Life Transition or significant change in your life, you may benefit by engaging in therapy with a professional counselor. Together you can identify your feelings, process the potential changes and formulate goals in order to move forward in your life.

Book Review: Rising Strong by Brené Brown

Before I get to the book review, I want to be completely honest with our readers about my own personal biases. I am a big Dr. Brene Brown fan and have been for years. I tried to go to her live event in Nashville, TN and was heartbroken to learn that the tickets were sold out so far in advance. I contacted Random House to see if I could talk my way in to no avail, but they did send me a prerelease copy and asked if I wanted to review Rising Strong on our blog. I absolutely said yes. I am going to give an overview and review of the book, and then share my experience of reading the book. Also, just to be clear, this is not a sponsored post.

Rising Strong

Dr. Brene Brown, research professor at the University of Houston and CEO of the Daring Way, adds to and builds on her previous work (I Thought It Was Just Me, The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly) in her new book, Rising Strong. I highly recommend that you read the others as well, but this book is still significant on it’s own. Through her interviews with thousands of people, she developed Rising Strong. The goal of the Rising Strong process is, “to rise from our falls, overcome our mistakes, and face hurt in a way that brings more wisdom and wholeheartedness” (2015, p. 40). This is described as a very messy three-step process:

The Reckoning: We need to identify and have an awareness of our emotions. Then we allow ourselves to be curious about our emotions and look for how they connect to our patterns of thought and behavior.

The Rumble: This is getting very honest about the stories we tell about others and ourselves. We have a tendency to fill in the information gaps in our narratives, which is likely not accurate. It is very important that we believe that people really are doing the best they can with their lives. We need to challenge our initial reactions and look for a deeper level of understanding.

The Revolution: Once we have rumbled with and owned our story, we then can rewrite the ending by growing and learning from what we have learned. Dr. Brown writes:

Men and women who rise strong integrate the key learnings that emerge from the rising strong process into how they live, love, lead, parent, and participate as citizens. This has tremendous ramifications not only on their own lives, but also for their families, organizations, and communities. (p. 41)

The process of applying your new insights will revolutionize your world.

Critical Review

Dr. Brown has a very connectable approach to her writing and weaves in a number of personal stories that make this process human. Her work is brilliant, unassuming, and yet still feels like it could be a great conversation with a best friend over coffee. This is not your typical academic research book filled with complex methodologies and two-way ANOVAs. Dr. Brene Brown has managed to take her complex grounded theory research and translate it into concepts that are useful for anyone with a soul.

On the other hand, if you are a super academic social scientist type person, she does not fully explain her entire methodology and provide all the explicit details of that process. However, this would not be appropriate to her audience. I do appreciate the fact that she lists all of her references in the back of the book. You can further your reading and double-check many of the statements she makes if you have concerns. I value that level of research transparency and how she has put her work out there for criticism. She also includes highlights from her other works at the end of the book.

My Own Experience

I noted several significant takeaways in the process of reading this book. Actually, there are too many to mention, so I will give some highlights.

It is very important to teach our children the truth of our stories and our family histories because it is their story. Nostalgia can be deadly.

The term chandeliering is one consequence of ignoring our own emotional pain. The term describes when a minor comment or conflict triggers a pain so great that we “jump as high as the chandelier” with our emotional response (p. 60).   Some examples are road rage or even losing it at a sporting event. Dr. Brown writes:

Chandeliering is especially common and dangerous in “power-over” situations-environments where, because of power differentials, people with a higher position or status are less likely to be held accountable for flipping out or overreacting…Most of us have been on the receiving end of one of these outbursts. Even if we have the insight to know that our boss, friend, colleague, or partner blew up at us because something tender was triggered and it’s not actually about us, it still shatters trust and respect. (p. 61-62)

I enjoyed all of the personal stories. I cherished from my family systems background the insight into Dr. Brown’s family of origin. What moved me most was the account of her mother having a life altering counseling experience that was then translated into her parenting. It is a reminder that we can all change our family trees and break negative intergenerational patterns.

On spirituality, I also had a few notes. Dr. Brown’s work suggests that no specific church denomination was more shaming than others. Over half of her participants who experienced spiritual shaming ended up finding healing through spirituality. They changed churches or beliefs, but their faith was still a significant part of who they are.

Some items I need to reflect on personally after reading this are having the courage to communicate what works for me (what I need) and renewing my faith that people are doing their best at all times.  As a lover of Narrative Therapy, I am all for reauthoring our own stories.

Dr. Brown, If You Are Reading This…

On the one in a million chance that Dr. Brown actually sees this someday, thank you for the impact that you have had on me professionally and personally. As a fellow introverted qualitative researcher (the best kind of course), your example gives me hope that I do not have to be the life of the party to have an impact on this world.

What you wrote about the negative view of qualitative research held by many academics struck a chord with me. I do not think that has completely changed from when you defended your dissertation, but I do feel it has gotten better. My dissertation was qualitative and fully embraced by my committee, with one member even stating he will only chair qualitative work. When we break massive amounts of information down into these tiny measurable things, I think we lose so much significant information. Thank you for blazing a trail by making qualitative research not only more accepted, but cool!

Personally, I discovered your work during the process of writing my dissertation. I actually quoted you several times in my study of therapists’ martial experiences and included my own marriage. Talk about a rumble experience! Looking at my own marriage and myself was the darkest and most difficult process I have ever been through. If I had not read Daring Greatly, I would not have had the courage to be vulnerable and include my own marriage in the study. Now, I cannot imagine my marriage had we not done that “day two” work.

I cannot say enough good things, so please go buy RISING STRONG today! Comment below if you love Dr. Brene Brown’s work. How has it impacted your life?

Reference

1. Brown, B. (2015). Rising Strong. NY: Penguin Random House.

Coping with COVID 19: Is My Current Sadness Really Grief?

Are you having trouble identifying your feelings during the COVID 19 pandemic?  You might be experiencing grief.  In a recent Harvard Business Review, foremost expert on grief and author David Kessler, states there is a 6th stage of grief.  Kessler co-wrote with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross about the 5 stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.  In Kessler’s new book, Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief, he says that after acceptance stage there can be meaning.  He is also the founder of www.grief.com.

Kessler states that:

We are feeling a number of different griefs, it feels like the world has changed and it has.  We are hoping it’s only temporary but it doesn’t feel that way.  There’s a loss of normalcy; fear of economic toll; and the loss of connection.  We are not used to this kind of collective grief in the air.

We may also be feeling anticipatory grief because the future is uncertain.  Typically, this happens with an impending death or receiving a dire diagnosis. Anticipatory grief is confusing. We know there’s potential for bad things to happen. We sense a loss of safety, but we can’t see it.  We no longer feel safe. 

It’s important to understand that there isn’t a map for grief or for the grieving. People manage their grief in different ways and in unpredictable timelines.  I won’t get the virus—denial. I have to miss my activities and stay home—anger. If I social distance for two weeks, I’ll be fine—bargaining. Will this ever end? —sadness. Ok, I have to figure this out—acceptance.  We find power in acceptance. 

Unhealthy anticipatory grief is really anxiety about the unknown.  We imagine future worst-case scenarios. We don’t want to dismiss this anxiety.  The goal needs to be finding balance in the things you are thinking. Not everyone who gets sick, will die. By staying in the moment, being mindful, you can calm yourself.  Name five objects in the room. Breathe. I’m okay. 

Let go of what you can’t control.  Be compassionate. Be patient.  People aren’t their “normal selves right now.” The most troubling part of this pandemic is the open-endedness of the situation. This is temporary even though it feels like forever. 

Kessler identifies the sixth stage as finding meaning after acceptance.  We want/need to find meaning in suffering.  This might look different to different individuals, groups, and societies depending on their circumstances and experiences.

Take time to feel your emotions, name them and allow them to move through you. Leave the “would of, could of, should of” out of your feelings.

Most of us tend to identify grief in relation to a death. Grief can also be experienced from any loss —loss of relationship, loss of job/career, loss of home, loss of financial security, loss of a pet, and loss of a dream.

If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, it’s important to seek out professional help with a qualified therapist. What has been your hardest loss to cope with?

Resources

1. Berinato, S. (2020, March 23). That discomfort you’re feeling is grief.  Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief

Tele-what? Taking the Mystery Out of Telehealth Counseling

Life in the time of COVID. There are a multitude of extra stressors that are occurring right now. People are being stretched in ways that they didn’t know existed. You might be feeling totally exhausted, stressed to the brim, anxious about what is to come, having issues with everyone in your family being stuck in the house, or feeling like things are out of control. On top of this — the typical things in your life are still going on.

Now, more than ever, people need to be aware of their mental health, how it has been affected, and what resources are available to help combat this.

Tele-counseling is one option for working through your struggles, emotions, frustrations, or just processing through this difficult time. Like traditional counseling, telehealth provides the same support and encouragement that you would receive in an in-person session and allows you to maintain physical safety, follow the social distancing guidelines, and still receive the help you need.

Tele-counseling is different, there’s no denying that. However, current research suggests that tele-counseling is just as effective as traditional counseling. A study completed by Andrews, Basu, Cuijpers, Craske, McEvoy, English, and Newby in 2018 compared traditional Cognitive Behavior Therapy to internet-based Cognitive Behavior Therapy and found that both were equally effective for treating anxiety and depression.

Let’s answer some questions about tele-counseling!

Tele-counseling won’t be as personal as in-person.

Your therapist will work to ensure that the same therapeutic relationship is provided though the tele-counseling session. Your therapist will use the same skills and training that are used in a typical session to understand you and your goals, provide the therapeutic relationship, and help you to feel supported.

How do I know that this is private?

Summit Family Therapy uses a secure, HIPAA-compliant service to provide the video connection for therapy. The therapist will be in an office, the same as if you were in the office.

There are some tips to provide privacy on your end. Some people have private space in their home. You can use headphones to ensure that others are not able to hear the therapist’s responses. You might consider leaving your home and finding a different quite space. Use this as an opportunity to get out of the house while respecting social distancing. Maybe take a drive and stop somewhere with a nice view, a park, or your favorite spot. The beauty of tele-counseling is that you can be anywhere, as long as you have internet and privacy.

I don’t have a computer with a camera.

Great news! You don’t need to have a computer. You are able to use your phone, tablet, or other device to participate in your tele-counseling session. There is an easy to download app for both IOS and Android that can be downloaded to any device with a working camera. If you have trouble with this, we can support you through getting this downloaded and coaching you over the phone.

I am not tech-savvy, this will be too difficult.

The program we use is simple and easy to use. You will get a link to your email to go to your private, virtual waiting room. When it is time for your session, the therapist will join you there — just like when they would find you in the office waiting room. Once you are in the session, there is nothing more you need to do.

What if I don’t like it?

Just like any therapy, if you aren’t happy, you don’t need to continue. If you find that you are feeling uncomfortable during the session, bring this up! Your therapist can help to process this and help you to make the best decision, for you, to move forward.

What are the benefits of tele-counseling?

Just like any therapy, this is a relationship and the same benefits exist; however, there are added benefits of using tele-counseling:

• You can attend sessions from anywhere • There is no drive time to the office •

• More flexibility in scheduling • Less risk of exposure to illness •

• Easy to access • Limited wait time •

• No need to change out of your pjs • Be in the comfort of your own space •

More questions?

Do you have more questions? Would you like to talk to a professional about what tele-counseling would be like for you? Give us a call and we would happy to talk more about how tele-counseling can change your life!

Resources

1. Andrews, G., Basu, A., Cuijpers, P., Craske, M., McEvoy, P., English, C., & Newby, J. (2018). Computer therapy for the anxiety and depression disorders is effective, acceptable and practical health care:  An updated meta-analysis. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 55, 70-78. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.janxdis.2018.01.001be